The influence illusion: when marketing poses as friendship

Hello everyone, and welcome to Cappuccino & Croissant! Today, we're diving into a topic that's crispy, sweet, but artificially enhanced—like a factory-made croissant: influencers and their polished mirror games on social media. Let’s be real: does anyone here actually believe these people wake up in perfectly pressed silk sheets with a latte that, by sheer coincidence, has an expertly crafted heart in the foam? No? Ah, progress already!

For this episode, we’re zooming in on what’s both fascinating and frankly maddening about this world: the grand spectacle of disguised ads. Those posts promoting the latest limited-edition sneakers or the “essential” new hydrating cream for that supernatural glow—these aren’t heartfelt shares with their “family” of followers. Nope, this is top-tier marketing, meticulously planned, scripted, and calibrated to hit precisely where it hurts… your wallet, of course!

And, to spice things up a little, we’re also tackling the sneaky role of our cognitive biases—those little mechanisms that make us see this content differently than a good old-fashioned TV ad. Where we might raise an eyebrow at a perfume commercial between shows, on Instagram or TikTok, our defenses are lulled by familiarity and a sense of closeness. A recent study by HypeAuditor in 2024 found that over 65% of sponsored content is barely labeled as such, turning the question of “ad or not an ad?” into a real headache for consumers. We blindly follow, "like" sponsored posts without a second thought, and next thing we know, we're convinced we absolutely need the same ceramic candle as our favorite influencer.

In this episode, we're going to pull back the curtain and reveal what’s behind this all-too-perfect setup. While preparing for this episode, I came across Hannah Alonzo’s YouTube channel. She does an amazing job dissecting the influencer world with sharp, insightful analysis. I highly recommend checking out her channel—it’s eye-opening and gives you plenty to think about. Anyway, let’s dive in. First, we’ll look at why influencers are so good at slipping into the role of a friendly, caring presence—even though each post is crafted with the intent to sell. Then, we’ll take a peek behind the scenes at the staging of this flawless performance: the backdrops, the Photoshopping, and those famous “perfect days.” We’ll also explore the human brain—no scalpels involved, I promise—to understand why we’re so quick to believe it all, or at least most of it. Finally, we’ll discuss what it does to our mental health to be constantly bombarded with this “filtered” reality, and why comparing ourselves to it as if it were genuine can be so damaging.

Together, we’ll unravel this tangled mess called “online authenticity.” And, who knows? You might never look at an influencer’s post the same way again.

Sponsored Content: a disguised Ad – Why do we keep falling for it?

Let’s get straight to the heart of it: disguised advertising—the kind that slips stealthily into our feeds, pretending to be genuine sharing. We all know by now that these influencers aren’t living solely on lattes and well-framed brunches. But why, even with that awareness, do we keep clicking, liking, and sometimes even buying? It’s a question worth breaking down in detail, using recent studies and examples that show just how widespread—and effective—these strategies really are.

To understand this phenomenon, we first need to examine cognitive biases. One of the most powerful is the familiarity bias. This bias is rooted in the idea that the more we’re exposed to something, the more trustworthy it feels. With influencers, it’s simple: they quickly become familiar figures. A 2023 Stanford University study found that 68% of regular followers perceive their favorite influencers as “virtual friends” or “reliable” people. This sense of closeness pushes us to forget—or at least downplay—the commercial side of each post. We like to think we’re following a person when, in reality, we’re also following a brand. Content creators themselves know how to cultivate this line, sharing their breakfasts, skincare routines, and every little detail of their daily lives—well, everything except their calls with sponsors, of course.

Let’s look at a real example: Chiara Ferragni, the Italian influencer who blends family life, glamour, and luxury brands. In what seems like a casual post, she might show her son playing in the kitchen—but if you look closely, you’ll spot a branded coffee maker, the latest model blender, all carefully placed. The post appears innocent, but every element is calculated. In a single image, she grabs the attention of thousands of fans while subtly showcasing several brands. According to Forbes, this type of disguised advertising brought her over $10 million in revenue in 2023.

Next, we have the attribution bias. This bias leads us to assign certain qualities to products simply because we associate them with the influencer’s personality. For example, we might believe that a particular moisturizer is amazing simply because X or Y uses it. A 2024 survey by The Guardian showed that 76% of young people aged 16-25 associate a product’s quality with the popularity of the influencer recommending it, rather than its actual features. In other words, if Kim Kardashian recommends a shampoo, it must be fantastic, right? And never mind the ingredients or real performance—the influencer’s image alone is enough to convince.

Another factor that trips us up is the ambiguity around partnership tags. Sometimes, there’s a discreet #ad at the bottom of a caption, or less obvious hashtags like #collab or #partner. According to the European Competition Authority, a 2024 study revealed that 64% of sponsored content on Instagram lacks clarity regarding its advertising nature. Want examples? Look no further than profiles like Addison Rae’s or Kylie Jenner’s, where collaborations blend seamlessly with family photos and travel stories. In 2024, this lack of transparency led to new regulations in France, requiring influencers to label partnerships more clearly—but it’s still an ongoing battle.

Finally, there’s native advertising, where the product placement blends right into the scenery. Take David Dobrik, an American influencer who popularized the technique of “natural placement.” In one of his videos, he’s shown driving a luxury car loaned by a brand—without even mentioning it’s a collaboration. The result? The car fits so seamlessly into the content that it doesn’t even register as an advertisement. A 2023 Pew Research Center study found that over 80% of viewers of this type of content don’t realize it’s a product placement, precisely because it’s integrated so subtly.

In conclusion, the reason we fall for it so easily is that our brains push us to see these influencers as close friends, to attribute product quality based on who promotes it, and to overlook the subtle signals that should alert us. Altogether, this creates a carefully orchestrated confusion that makes us forget that behind every “authentic” post, there’s often a contract.

Staging and fakery: what’s really behind the likes and stories

Now, let’s get to the heart of this grand charade: the staging, that carefully crafted illusion meant to make us believe everything is authentic when, in reality, nothing is. Because let’s be honest, when we see posts of our favorite influencer looking effortlessly chic atop a mountain at 5 a.m., are we really supposed to believe that’s spontaneous? At 5 a.m., most people are fumbling for coffee, not striking meditative poses with a fresh-as-dawn complexion. Let’s dissect this illusion, no filter needed.

Let’s start with the classic: idyllic travel posts. In 2023, Forbes published a report showing that over 60% of influencers admit planning their vacations based on what’s “Instagrammable” rather than authentic. Translation: every detail is orchestrated, from designer hotels to photogenic meals. Take the example of Gabbie Hanna, a well-known U.S. influencer, who admitted in an interview that she plans her trips around the photos she can take there. She even found herself, as she put it, “posing for photos by a beautiful pool she never actually swam in” because the reality was far from the magic of filters. Stories like this expose the reality behind the backdrop, which becomes more of a photo studio than a true getaway.

Then, there are the infamous “perfect days.” On Instagram, every day is a festival of colorful breakfasts, casual “off” moments on camera, and yoga sessions on a sun-drenched terrace. In 2024, a study by the University of Leeds found that 72% of social media users feel stressed by this omnipresent perfection, wondering why their lives feel more like an episode of Complaint Department than a rom-com. Influencers like Essena O'Neill, famous for her blunt confessions about the fakeness of her posts, have admitted that every detail, down to the arrangement of fruit on a plate, is calculated to make the photo perfect. In reality, that plate often goes straight to the trash once the photo’s taken—because, yes, no one wants to eat strawberries under three layers of pink frosting every morning.

This staged fantasy wouldn’t be complete without mentioning the omnipresence of retouching. We often hear about influencers’ “natural beauty,” but in truth, most photos undergo digital touch-ups before they hit our screens. Even Kim Kardashian has openly admitted to using editing apps to “enhance” her selfies, and she’s far from alone. According to a Guardian report in 2024, 85% of influencers regularly retouch their photos, even if subtly. Soft skin filters, shadowing to enhance features, and sometimes even slight body modifications. The result? We consume ultra-retouched content without even realizing it, and it impacts our perception of reality.

But what effect does this carefully staged illusion have on followers? Well, it fuels a constant cycle of comparison, and not the healthy kind. When we’re bombarded daily with idealized versions of life, we end up feeling like there’s something wrong with ours. A Psychology Today study from 2023 found that this ongoing exposure to the “fake perfect” results in a 57% increase in anxiety and frustration levels, especially among young adults, who feel pressured to mimic what they see. Why? Because our brains are wired to love perfect illusions. They pull us into a craving for a “flawless life,” even when we know it’s all fake. This phenomenon is amplified by what’s known as the contrast effect: the more we’re exposed to idealized versions of life, the more our own reality seems dull. This comparison often leads to a vague sense of unease, a feeling of never being “enough.”

Ultimately, this staged facade isn’t just selling a product; it’s selling an ideal. But that ideal is unattainable because it simply doesn’t exist. And all this fuels a culture where every life moment must be staged, edited, and perfected to reach that “ideal.” Next time you see a flawless post, remember there are hours of staging, editing, and a generous dose of fakery behind it all.

The “Magic” of social media marketing: how they influence us (without us even noticing)

Let’s delve into what feels like modern-day wizardry: influencer marketing on social media. Let’s face it—these screen stars have mastered the art of making us feel like we're “part of the family”… except, surprise, it’s a business, not a family reunion. Behind every “squad” or “community” lies a finely-tuned mechanism designed to keep you hooked and ready to buy the moment they say, “go.”

First, let’s talk about the famous personal storytelling technique. You know, that moment when the influencer films themselves fresh out of bed, a bit disheveled, talking about their “everyday struggles.” This apparent closeness gives us the illusion we’re part of their inner circle, sharing in their daily ups and downs. Take the example of Lena Situations, who shares every detail of her life with humor and apparent sincerity. She narrates anecdotes, doubts, and travel experiences—and this style works because it humanizes the influencer and endears us to their personality. According to a 2023 HubSpot study, influencers who use personal storytelling see a 35% increase in engagement from their audience. Because, yes, when we follow someone who seems real, we feel a bit invested ourselves… so much so that we’re tempted to buy the products they recommend to feel a bit closer to them.

But that’s not all—they also use methods that tap directly into our Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO, that well-known fear of missing out. We see it with every product launch, brand drop, or capsule collection, often with slogans like “Only 24 hours!” or “Limited quantities.” Studies show that 60% of impulsive online purchases are driven by this sense of urgency. Brands and influencers know this well: nothing drives sales quite like the fear of missing out on the deal of a lifetime. Consider Kylie Jenner’s makeup line—her limited-edition products sell out almost instantly, largely thanks to this orchestrated urgency. According to The Wall Street Journal, Kylie’s brand made 70% of its annual sales within 48 hours in 2023, all due to FOMO-driven campaigns. The result? We feel compelled to buy to “stay in the loop,” even if our drawers are already full of similar products.

Then there’s the tactic so common we barely notice it anymore: polls, questions, and interactive stories. These “super spontaneous” polls asking if we prefer “option A or B,” or whether they should wear this look or that one “for us,” are anything but random. They create a feeling of involvement, tricking us into believing our opinion counts, when it’s all orchestrated to maximize engagement. Instagram’s 2024 internal report revealed that stories with polls generate 40% more views—and it’s easy to see why. We feel part of their lives, almost as if our vote on their outfit choice is somehow essential to the universe’s balance. In essence, they turn their audience into active participants, and it’s incredibly effective.

Finally, we have to mention the role of algorithms in this well-choreographed dance. Social media platforms love content that keeps their audience connected, and influencer posts are amplified by algorithms for precisely this reason. The more you react to stories and posts, the more the platforms ensure you see them. According to Social Media Today in 2024, influencer content has a 70% higher chance of appearing in feeds of users who engage with it regularly. Here, the platforms act as enablers, boosting this addictive content to keep you glued to your screen.

And that’s how, using techniques like personal storytelling, FOMO, and algorithmic boosts, influencers pull us into a relationship that feels like friendship but is, in reality, a marketing model. We think we’re friends; they see us as audience metrics. And this has real effects on our mental health, especially among young people, who get swept up in this endless quest to be “just like them.”

The dark side and mental health consequences for followers

Let’s talk about the psychological impact of social media—and let’s be real, it’s not as “Instagrammable” as it might seem. This constant marketing, endless comparison, and facade of perfection have tangible consequences, especially for young people. It’s not just about disappointment; it’s about mental health, depression, and anxiety, which, in severe cases, push some into very dark realities. Social media may be marketed as platforms for “sharing,” but the psychological fallout of this virtual “sharing” is very real and often harmful.

Let’s back this up with facts. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), which published a pivotal report in 2023, intensive social media use is associated with a 30% increase in depressive symptoms and a 45% increase in anxiety symptoms among young adults. The APA highlights the phenomenon of “upward social comparison”—constantly seeing idealized, staged lives leads young people to habitually compare themselves to these “perfect” versions of others, forgetting, as the study notes, that what they see is often just the tip of the iceberg.

A striking example of this dynamic is the influence of travel stories and posts. These images of paradise vacations, perfect meals, and selfies in flattering light create the impression that happiness is constant and accessible for everyone… except for us, of course. A 2024 study from the University of Leeds found that 72% of social media users feel discouraged or frustrated after spending more than 30 minutes scrolling through their feed, with an even stronger impact on those aged 18-24. According to the researchers, this frustration stems directly from inevitable comparisons and the idealization of others’ lives. Young women are particularly affected—65% report feeling intense social pressure to be “perfect” themselves, like the influencers they admire.

This pursuit of impossible perfection leads to constant dissatisfaction. Many influencers have spoken out about the pressures they face themselves. Emma Chamberlain, a YouTube and Instagram icon, recently revealed in a podcast that the “pressure to always project an enviable life” has created persistent anxiety for her. She explained that even knowing it’s all an illusion doesn’t stop this facade from affecting her own well-being. “I feel like I always have to smile, always have to look happy, even though I’m human, and most of the time, it’s just automatic,” she shared. She’s not alone—stories from smaller influencers reveal the same pressure to embody what might be called “the perfect life.” Ironically, this fake perfection not only affects the audience but also the creators themselves, who become trapped in their own staged lives.

One of the deepest impacts of this constant exposure is the need for social validation. In a 2023 European survey, the European Union for Mental Health found that young social media users feel a constant need for digital validation, with the majority (57%) logging in every hour to check notifications. The “like” has become a unit of personal value, fueling a perpetual quest for virtual recognition that, ironically, only brings fleeting satisfaction. Psychologist and author Jean Twenge has even dubbed this phenomenon “instant dopamine,” referring to the quick but short-lived gratification online interactions provide. This need for validation weakens young people’s self-esteem, making them especially vulnerable to online criticism and bullying, to the point that we’re now facing a full-blown mental health crisis among heavy social media users.

This need for validation and the quest for perfection aren’t without consequences: they exacerbate symptoms of anxiety, depression, and chronic stress. In France, the Mental Health Observatory published a troubling report in 2024 showing a 42% increase in anxiety symptoms among young people since 2020, directly linked to intensive social media use. The report also notes that the pressure to “perform” on these platforms pushes some users to consider early cosmetic procedures to look more like the filtered versions of themselves. The infamous “Snapchat dysmorphia,” where young people want to look like their filtered selfies, has now become a serious concern for many mental health professionals.

This need to “share everything,” to embellish it all, leaves deep scars. This insidious marketing creates a culture where the ordinary is no longer acceptable, where every detail of life must be beautified, and where small, real moments no longer have value unless they’re staged. The result? A culture of fake perfection that makes it impossible to feel content with real life, with simple and sometimes imperfect moments. This model, built around illusions and calculated staging, ends up trapping millions of users in a relentless pursuit of “always better.”

Conclusion: let’s uncover the truth together

And there we have it—we’ve journeyed through this maze of illusions, hidden ads, and perfectly staged scenes. Because at the end of the day, behind all those likes and flawless hashtags lies a world where transparency and authenticity are as rare as a vacation photo without a filter. You’ve seen the bigger picture: influencers turning every post into a barely-veiled ad, the desperate quest for validation, and the stress it creates for followers. So, where do we go from here?

First step, easy to say but essential: a good old mental filter. Every time we come across a story that makes us feel like our own lives aren’t “enough” of something, ask yourself—where’s the marketing hiding in this image? Quick trick? Look for those sneaky #sponsored tags, or simply ask: is this really spontaneous, or has every inch been crafted to keep us hooked? Suddenly, that “quick morning coffee” might seem a lot less candid.

Next, let’s keep the conversation going and dig a little deeper together. This shouldn’t end here. Go ahead, leave your thoughts in the comments or come join the discussion on Cappuccino & Croissant’s social channels. What surprised you? When did you first start to feel the line between marketing and reality start to blur?

And if this episode resonated with you, if you feel these topics deserve to be broken down and decoded even further, consider supporting the podcast. A small donation, a big help—it keeps the adventure going and helps us dig even deeper. So, next time you see a post that looks “perfect,” remember what we’ve discussed here. Perfection is a marketing tool. Now, it’s up to you to separate fact from fiction. Thanks for tuning in, and see you next time for your next dose of reality, served with a good cappuccino. Alright, take care!